If you're not where you want to be in your career--or, for that matter, in your life--never let yourself believe change is impossible. You can also list some of your strengths here so that you know what you have to draw on as you go through the change process. Apparently former professional footballer, "TOWIE" star and rapper. As for your brother, have a talk with him and tell him about your own experiences as that would make him think twice about that kinda lifestyle. I decided that I had reached a point in my life where I wasn’t happy and needed to make massive changes. I’ve lived a very similar life style to a point where at 19, I was very respected in ends. Try and get a few cash-in-hand jobs so you dont need to rob and feel a sense of accomplishment - even if it is just shifting a load of rubble. The book contains a five-point plan for change. Although idk you, you’re in my duas, reach out to me if you can iA ❤️. We will be interviewing a variety of people such as experts, athletes, celebrities, and others who can help you with your journey by sharing theirs with you. I’ve seen all the amazing advice you’ve received already, I really hope you get out the situation you’re in. I’m from Birmingham so not London but it’s not far off. One out of three adults suffers from anxiety, depression, or addiction. The crème de la crème of blenders, this is an absolute must if you're making a life change to live healthier. Do everything in your power to get to college. I dont really trust the teahers at my school enough either. We operate as a form of "legal triage" where commenters can guide posters towards resolving issues themselves or towards an appropriate professional. Lastly, it's not easy to get out of the rut cycle you're in, folks tend to be sucked back in, when i was with DePaul they had an 'Alone in London' scheme where they helped youngsters with CVs, job preps, funding for interview clothes and activities to pass the time - see if you're eligible. Stay safe. Use that cash to take the relevant courses (nothing major) to become a deckhand and you can start looking for jobs to work on yachts in the Mediterranean, Caribbean etc. You’ll be surprised how many people live the life you lived. Cuz of all of this its just me and my brother. 450 votes, 118 comments. This isn't really legal advice, but I think your question went wider than just the law. The point is that if you want to have a completely different life in a year or two, you need to start now, and you need to start small. To my surprise, I was able to get a meeting with every single one of them and talk to them about whatever I wanted. She cursed me once cuz my little brother is starting to do what I do. I just feel like I am not progressing and its bothering me because year after years it the same. It will help you in more ways you can imagine. Also apprenticeship are great and so are internships, and if you are thinking of college they often do scholarships. We cant afford to move out and I cant just say that Im not involved anymore. i feel if you were to contact the right people they'd help you out. Send me a message if you need anything, I know a lot of respected people in London and can see if I can try help with old contacts to try get you uninvolved. That will get you out of that environment and allow you to better your life. check messages my bro, tryna help with some practical relocation help if need be. Stuff like science and history is interesting you know. What simple … Edit: Just to add something quickly: you suggested in your original post that you've been involved in some criminal activity in the past. They are only your friends when you can get them drugs. How I Changed My Life Completely At Midlife. We live in the one of the worst areas in my city so of course theres alot of gang activity around me. I’d rather them do the job for me then go land at another guys who will end up putting a debt on their head or send them OT. If you want new things, then maybe it’s time to quit your job, or make a change in your personal life. If I connected with my parents like most of my friends. Well done for asking for help. view in app. First it depends on how these orders are to you. I know of bares outreach programs for under privileged kids like yourself. Firstly you are a strong young man with a good head on your shoulders. I Want to Change My Life... Later. I would say the the best thing you can do is stay in school and get some half decent grades behind you. Thx for the help tho. I did so they could see the reality and leave the game. Ask yourself: Am I really satisfied with my life? You can change your life with the right information. Good luck with everything and remember, there’s always a way out. Most people I see commenting it’s nice to see have advice but not from people who have lived the life he explains. I have taken part in many bad things which I think on and do regret ruining lives. Keep up with school and educate your little brother on the evils of the path you are leaving. I got you, idk how to use this app but if you can message me in priv do so because I want to help. You still have your whole life ahead of you and a million chances to make things better. This website contains mental health information and life skills that can help you. How To Delete Reddit Account on Mobile | Delete Reddit Account on Mobile Easily! So many times people feel they need to give one. Also please remember that change happens over a long time so don't ever give up or feel disheartened if things don't get better soon. I dont feel good about what I do but I would just smoke up a zoot to forget about what was making me feel like shit. Read them to shape your thinking and improve your lifestyle. Let go of “normal”. London has alot to offer. I can only change my attitude and reactions today. I want to change but I dont know how. It you’re interested in art in any way, give me a message. The important thing here is that the photos, testimonials, support, and recipes in threads through r/keto were enough to change the way I had seen food all my life. no ones expecting 8s and 9s but get your passes in English and maths even if u have to retake in college, there's always an avenue to go down. He got stabbed in his back twice. "Oh no I can't go out tonight, my wife is having friends over tomorrow so we have to clean the house" blah blah blah. If the answer is no, it’s time to re-evaluate and change. If the police get in touch to ask you some questions, be polite (they're only doing their jobs) but don't say a god-damned word without a solicitor present! I thought I would write about the changes I decided to make in case others could benefit from it. I tried to offer her the money I make but she refuses it. As a teacher I would advise against telling your teachers at school if you don't want police and social workers involved. But to keep your whereabouts between yourself and family. My mom works 2 jobs seven days a week so i hardly ever get to see her. Featured Articles 14 Comments 3287 views 0. just advice on how to safely deal with stepping aside from gangs and finishing school and somebody to just phone for support. Start small, if you want to do a marathon maybe you start off with just a light jog for 20 minutes, make the shift today and see how your life changes. Let me ask you a serious question: Are you happy with your life? A very close friend of mine just went to prison for stabbing someone sadly during a manic episode, He’s the product of gang life and is now unfortunately institutionalised. Shit got real for me when one of my friends nearly died. Education is so important and it will help you make something of your life Also worth checking out Ibz Mo on youtube as he came from a deprived area in London & has now graduated from Cambridge Uni- shows it can definitely be done Let me know if i can help :). I was in a gang from 12 and that’s when I started shotting. I feel like shit cuz I know he died feeling betrayed and it makes me mad sad and hopeless. Make yourself busy, you may need to continue for alittle but but make excuses (I have football, or you’ve gotta go families, got college etc) this will slowly take responsibility away from you to the other runners to take over jobs. Although I’m not in your exact position, I’m 20 years old and living in a not so good London area too. Best of luck to you, and hopefully your brother sees your future example and follows it. Startup Life 30 Examples of 30-Day Challenges That Will Change Your Life Look at life as if it's a series of experiments. Phase yourself out from the street mentality. I came from a pretty crap childhood and I really, really regret not sticking with my education. But with time, I’ve learned to see my resistance as a sign to relax. Find a boxing gym and stay busy. Do your mum and your little brother proud. Because in the engineering field theres a lot of scholarships. And don’t dwell on what you done, there’s a lot of pressures in society and in bad areas with a lack of opportunity people make mistakes. It's alright to talk about it, and to ask for help. Trust me the end is near! https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/crime-law/gangs/ Your school or college will also have details of local organisations. Inspire your little brother to follow in your footsteps. maybe they dont help you out directly but they could give you contact numbers for someone that can thats more local. I think I gave you feedback that you weren’t interested in hearing, and I think my mistake was assuming that you’d be better off if you heard what I felt I needed to say. It’s definitely in no way easy and it may not be easy to break away from that lifestyle amongst the crowd youre in, they probably won’t be much support which is why you’re most likely on Reddit. I just saw the car pull up and ran. Since all your food and accommodation is paid for, you can even send cash home if need be. You Can Change Your Life. It’s not easy. I started chilling with him and other kids around my age. Also, speak to an adult you trust at school. im so sorry ur goin through this. Its all about mentality and education. I dont want my lil bro to end up dead or a killer and I dont want my mom to have both her sons being peices of shit. To add to this, my dad gave me the advise that 9/10 times you don't need to give an explanation with your no's. I would suggest checking out some local charities that help with gang culture and members. Boxing teaches you discipline and it will humble you. Have you thought of getting a job? You can change your life with the right information. the first thing to do is go to school more. Do you think that things have to be perfect and anything less than perfect is failure? Once you finish school I see 2 easy ways out : If your grades are good enough, get your self a bunch of scholarships and go away to college. Don’t lose it because once you do, you’re committed to the roads. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/crime-law/gangs/. ... Friday My Secret Garden damage and had been persuaded that having fantasies about something doesn't mean you really want … You may even start a new business and not even need your qualifications as an adult, but going to Uni will be the only way you can get out of your rough area it seems that's why I highly recommend Uni. Here, 22 impactful microhabits you can begin tonight. If you are not taking excessively yourself, say your supplier has cut you off, and don't have another. My parents were immigrants and came here to give me and my little brother a better chance. London offers a lot of apprenticeship degrees with no prior e, experience or particular GCSE requirements - only that you complete year 11 at school. Do you dwell on the few negatives, and ignore t… In this article I have drawn from both my own experience and the many personal development books I have read to give you 50 of the best ways to change your life . Which leads me into my second point 2 you've already identified that you aren't happy with how your life is panning out and you want to make meaningful changes. See if any of these resonate and make the decision to claim this one life of yours and live it to its fullest. First of all I want to say you are very brave and very strong! You will be able to move away from your area to a different town and get grants and loans for student accommodation. It would really help to know which country/city you're in? it's not a lack of trying for me. Ive been arrested by feds a couple times. But I can't change the past. Continue this and you can slip away under the radar. Never underestimate how much other people want to help you and share their advice. I want to change my Life. I myself have stabbed people and been stabbed (they werent big injuries). One out of three adults suffers from anxiety, depression, or addiction. And that’s not what you want, everyone I was around when I was on crud isn’t around anymore either dead, serving M charges or washed up nitties now. It's alright to talk about it, and to ask for help. I completely changed my life … This is going to sound odd, and this isn’t legal advice, but you’re in a prime position to get into the yachting industry (as in super yachts). And no they havent been caught. Plus a good, experienced electrician can make £50k+ and that's money you could use to get yourself and your family to a better area, which is something to aim for. We would start carrying knives and shit on us even though were werent rlly ready to use them. I wont drop any names cuz of reasons. I can't imagine the life you've lead and I can't offer advice past what other people have already said - by recognising the problem you're already on the way to fixing it. On New Years Eve, I sat after multiple glasses of Prosecco in an armchair in the lodge we were staying in to welcome in 2018 & said on video to my best friend that THIS would be the year I changed my life & finally lost weight. Ive been involved with a gang in my area since I was 12. Any half decent teacher will notice you making an effort and they're a great place to start with access to resources, information about jobs, next stage education, all of it. The point is that if you want to have a completely different life in a year or two, you need to start now, and you need to start small. My Mother works 2 jobs 7 days a week so I dont rlly see her. How many years have passed without doing anything useful? We know when our fears are controlling our lives because we feel discontent and unfulfilled. To piggy back, there are alot of areas where all the matterials are freely available online to teach your self, though trying to make the best of what time in school you have left is best. It's alright to say that you're not okay. Get the 4 main GCSEs and do a Level 2 ICT apprenticeship. LegalAdviceUK exists to provide help for those in need of legal support in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. I know of this amazing non-profit called the Outreach Programme ran by a wonderful woman called Lillian, she’s from the same sort of areas as us both and she can really help you opportunity wise. Make her proud of you. The olders then started taking me and the other boys to help them in the trap (a house where they sell drugs). I really do believe in you, mainly because you have posted on here which shows how serious you are. I’ve friends that used to be involved in the life you have, that have grown up and grown out of it. Depending on the field you go into, but this city offers more in IT and finance/business. That way you can get paid and learn at the same time....then you can move on to Uni. Tell him how shit your life is, and how miserable you are.The message will hopefully get across. So we started riding for our "family". How many years have passed since you decided to change? Lil bro, I’m 25 now, I’ve been shot at 16 times, stabbed on 5 different occasions. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. It does go against some of my religious beliefs but so does the way I live rn. If you contact them, their councillors should be able to give you details of organisations in your area that can help. I’ve written a 21-page ebook about three ideas that heavily influenced my life, and that I believe can influence your life too. Like I said, I have friends who have and I have family who have. Those pieces of paper you get with your grades on are some of your vital tickets out. There are people out there who can help you. Most people see through them anyway. Refuse any batches from new dealers with the legit excuse that you dont trust it's purity. Way too young. that sounds crazy shit man. I’m starting to lose hope completely. Press J to jump to the feed. I don’t know where you’re based but I’m in London and would be happy to tutor you free of charge to help you get back into education, just drop me a message. remembers its not your fault, u got bad luck being in the situation you are. Be the role model for your brother. I'll be honest and say that the only reason I haven't completely dropped out of school is cuz I actually like to learn. Reddit users shared their thoughts about $100 items that can change the quality of life. I saw this on twitter and it struck a chord with me. I saw this post on Instagram and searched it on google to get here. I personally know several former gang members that used the military as a means to escape the cycle of old neighborhood and better their lives. Press J to jump to the feed. I feel like Im lucky tho. It doesn’t mean that you have failed. I’m a female and I’m 22. It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting. Keep your moms hard work in mind. It's really hard to keep your eyes on a future goal in the face of current pressure, but the payoff is so, so big. Excuses might salvage some pride, but they don't help you advance you toward your goals. Liam Gatsby (I don't know who he is but he has a verified blue tick on Instagram and has half a million followers) has asked for your @. Give as much as you can To Posters (it is important you read this section), Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws in each are very different. I also want to change for my brother and mother. What happened happened. You didn't say where in London but a quick Google brings a few possibilities up: Your past does not have to define your future. Here are my top 20 books that will change your life. You make yourself feel guilty or even feel like you need to lie. You’re young. You need to have that, and you still do. "A three-inch memory foam mattress pad made my back feel soooooo good," wrote one Reddit reader. The teachers job is to report these sort of issues to social workers straight away. One of the greatest things you can do once you turn 18 is go skydiving, and yes it’s really expensive. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. I want to break free of time wasting habits and make a positive change to my life. From the work I’ve seen them do, I’m very sure they can help you. I had to see and do shit no one my age shouldve done. The fact that you want to break out of that cycle means a lot! You should find a safe space to spend your time in. Hot. So as you create your vision, let go of self imposed limitations that will leave you settling for just a different variety of unhappy. I have to carry a knife in case someone runs up on me cuz Im not tryna be "another dead gangster" but if I get caught I'll get locked for even longer than 4 months. Whether it’s a fear of failure, loneliness, or the unknown, it can stop you from living your life to the fullest. Let me just start by saying that I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I’m gonna be real with you bro it’s not going to be easy at all. I also want to change for my brother and mother. At a young age there was an attraction to it but you soon realise its actually shit. Let go of “reasonable”. Change My View (CMV) r/ changemyview. Like I’m just destined to be alone my whole life. You will learn new techniques to reduce your stress. Hi! This is good advice, an advantage of university is that it gives you a way to get away from the area without any upfront costs for yourself or your family, from the sound of it you may well be eligible for grants. Please focus on your school, you are obviously a smart boy as you like learning and want to learn further. Put your email in the form and I’ll send it to you. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. You have shown great courage posting here or anywhere for that matter seeking help. Rising. If you still want the same things, then do what Chris Sacca did and change your daily routine. Just get C’s in English, Maths and Science GCSE’s and get a 2-3 month full time job in anything. Absolutely, work hard in school. You won't have time for the gang life if your eyeballs deep in computer studies. If you want to change, you're already a huge part of the way there. I recommend this book to everyone who has dreams of living an adventure. I worked in a Drug Problem service and younger kids WILL emulate older siblings if it looks like they are succeeding in some way. Here are 10 signs you need a major life change. Mindset by Carol Dweck The olders said we couldn't let that slide so we had to do something about it. This is a place where you can ask for advice on many subjects. I can just feel it. For now try to stay out of trouble and help your mum as much as you can. You Can Change Your Life. If you're not where you want to be in your career--or, for that matter, in your life--never let yourself believe change is impossible. To lead a satisfying life, take some time to reflect on the things below. Just 2 more years and then Uni, that's it life will be amazing then :), Good luck! After a while he started asking favours (he would say take this bag to that place for me) and I would get paid like fifty dollars on it. I will take the plunge and sign up or start taking positive steps towards fulfilling my … It’s all about what you do next. Personally I didn't go through most of the things u mentioned but I've been through other bad things and I can say is that u can try to get a better relationship with your brother, spend some time with him and create a bond and maybe sometimes mention that you want a different life, he might understand that meaning of it. Thanks bro, I agree with you that the military will be my last option if evrything fails. fuck man, during a pandemic im even proud of u for tryna get out. If it’s of any comfort I understand what you’re going through as I have people close to me who have been in your position. It simply means you are ready to focus on what matters: You. He was around 20 and lived in the building next to me (He's locked right now over gun charges). Save my comment in your phone and read it back whenever you are feeling low or demotivated! Feign illness - whatever it takes to get them to stop trying to buy drugs from you. We feel it will be better than our current situation. I had to do four months in a yoi and got released a few months ago. :), In a similar boat I started putting my energy into sports Nd try slowly distance yourself from bad influences. You can also start an apprenticeship if you don't want to go college. Ex. Do any degree that you are interested in, don't think so much about the career after it because going to Uni alone will improve your life a lot. And what do you like studying? Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. As far as school goes, finish. If he sees that your doing well and risen above it, it will give him hope. if it weren't for them i'd be on the streets. And a lot of them saw sense. He was fourteen and is still in a wheelchair. How much easier life would be if I didn't grow up being so screwed up psychologically from my early childhood experiences. If there’s a rage inside, let it out on the bag. Good luck, my friend. Whenever a new opportunity arises to progress either personally or professionally, we have the tendency to think about what our lives are like now, and how they could look if we accepted the challenge of a new experience. Please please stay in education, it will help you grow so much. Your Mantra: “Today I will no longer put off my dreams. The pay is pretty great, the life style is full on and you’ll be in a more productive, active and interesting environment. You can also list some of your strengths here so that you know what you have to draw on as you go through the change process. When I try to change what is, I poison myself from the inside out. Probably the best thing I've read this year... asking for help at the stage you're at is amazing. I have an anonymous Instagram you can message me on it’s @22s_liz. I want to change before I go to jail or end up dead. Its just the law unfortunately for you. You are not alone. And I knew I can't be around of those ppl, so I slowly began moving away from them by saying "oh no I can't come out today cause I'm sick etc" sometimes it worked and sometimes I was confronted about it, another thing that helped as wierd as it might sound and you might go like ?¿ But some articles on a website called jw.org. I dont want my lil bro to end up dead or a killer and I dont want my mom to have both her sons being peices of shit. Discover why stress and negative thinking are important causes of anxiety, depression, and addiction. I can tell you what I would tell my younger self, if I could. Join. There will always be good days and bad days but you just remember your goal and I know you can make it! Change your habits for 30 days and see what happens. So yeah - even if u just want a chat mate. 7-Go to adult jail You’re no longer a child so unfortunately you will get sent to an adult jail if you commit a crime; try to avoid it. 5- Change your name . That’s because small changes, with time, can snowball into something much, much greater. Hot New Top Rising. I wish I hear of your success in a few years or sooner! they work to help ppl in your situation. Yo I dunno if you’re interested but I’m a tattoo artist and I work in London. 12. It blends green smoothies beautifully, as well as vegetables to make soup. Computing is the obvious one imo. Life lives itself through me, because I am life. Please I could really use any suggestions you guys can give me cuz right now i dont know what the fuck I should do. My mom has said she wouldve taken me back to her home country for my safety a long time ago if she could afford it. education is the only way out my g. its fuckin shit but try get ur main 5 gcses. Email. Also, in purely practical terms, if you're in school you're keeping yourself out of trouble, and if you're making an effort with your studies people will be more inclined to help you, because you'll clearly be trying to help yourself. – Lao Tzu. I believe you are about to make a great change in your life just because you've already taken the first steps by acknowledging that your lifestyle is not right, so well done! I know you’re not a child, but Childline will help anyone under 19, and they have a gang-specific resource page. My brother was stabbed, my friend was stabbed and died, my friends have stabbed people and I’ve been exposed to it all give or take. Other peoples opinions can mask your own too, and that can be a killer of living the life you really want. Because life is an adventure. I have a good job, paid well and I’m getting married soon bro. We want to encourage you to break the shackles in your life to be your best you. And I think my mistake was
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